Daily Archives: November 22, 2013

trash talk

We had an MMA class last week. This is especially exciting because it hasn’t happened since August. The stars haven’t really been aligning in terms of my school schedule and Dan’s work schedule/life. :[ But as always, it was super fun!

We made a lot of jokes and stuff because let’s face it, BJJ can look pretty darn wrong at times.

F: You might wanna put your hands on my lower ribs or something because I have boobs in the way. I’d hate to have to report you.
S: Okay, good idea.
F: Cool.
S: How’s that?
F: I think you have to have my arm here or else you won’t really choke me.
S: How about that?
F: Yep! Now scoot the rest of yourself that way.
S: You’re probably the most compliant victim in the world.
F: Yeah. I’m sure you’ll come across this in real life. “You’re doin’ it wrong. Here, let me show you how to choke me to death.”

F: Score!
S: Alright, you got me. But wait for it, I have the ultimate attack. (tickles me)
F: AHHHHH!!
D: That really is the ultimate attack.
F: Dan, I need a defense against that!!!
D: I’m sorry; there really isn’t one.

We had a couple live rounds at the end. I got to rematch Mike, and although I know he barely tries when he’s going against me because he’s worried he’s going to accidentally kill me, it makes me slightly happy to know that he has to inject at least a slight bit of effort into countering whatever I do (I’m pretty good about hanging on in a lock like a barnacle). When Sean and I were practicing punches, he suggested that Sean not use his actual fists because there were a couple instances where it looked like he was actually going to clock me in the face. Thanks for lookin’ out for me, good sir!

It’s been a longstanding goal for me to be able to choke him out. So far, I’ve still been failing, but I did manage to get him into a really uncomfortable [to breathe] position, just short of actually choking him?

M: It’s not gonna happen, Farrah!
F: Screw you and your sternocleidomastoids! You’re goin’ down!
D: That’s the best trash talk I’ve ever heard.