A good chunk of my class seems to believe that I’m vegan because I make a lot of vegan foods for potlucks (once you have one friend who’s vegan, it gets hard not to if you don’t want to exclude her from every potluck), whereas another sizable fraction is under the impression that I only ever eat healthy food. This is somewhat far from the truth in that although I do try to eat clean, I am very, very far from completely depriving myself of unhealthy stuff. Especially if they keep feeding us all these free desserts and such. >_> I’m glad that vegan pizzas are a thing at my school now though! It’s basically a cheeseless pizza where they put some sauce on and pile on a bunch of delicious roasted vegetables. Tis a wonderful option for the possibly lactose intolerant. <3
A: French toast? I wouldn’t expect a health nut like you to want French toast. I usually imagine you eating leaves and sprouts and stuff.
F: Well, in moderation! I like unhealthy stuff too!
A: Yeah, I know. I’ve witnessed you pounding down 9 Reeses pieces in 15 minutes.
P: Potato chips? You eat those?
P: I wouldn’t have expected that from you.
F: How come?
P: I don’t know. You just always have food with you, and you’re always eating. I have no idea how you stay so skinny. Wait, are these Sriracha flavored?
F: Yes indeed! Wanna try some? There are sweet potato chips too. I’ve become a chip snob.
F: I got 7 lbs of bananas the other day for about $2. :D!
S: That is awesome.
F: Oh! There’s also gluten-free teriyaki sauce on sale! It’s next to the discounted fruit section in that huge bin?
P: Discounted fruit section?
F: Yeah, in the back-left corner of Kroger’s?
S: Thanks! I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’m going there on the way home today.
P: Is this fruit moldy and disgusting?
F: No! It’s just more ripe than the others.
S: Have you never been to the discounted fruit section?
P: No, I have not! It sounds scary.
S: What are you, rich?
I like to refer to us (my friends here, our class, etc.) as “the faces of the future” whenever we do anything completely ridiculous. Thanks to PAX (…which is also the name of our international medicine club), classes were cancelled and our cars have pretty much been buried in snow. I’m only sad about the class cancellation because I wanted to skip one of my labs in March so I could go to the family medicine conference in Philly to run for national office. The downside is that the makeup date for that lab would be April 24, which is after classes have already ended and also happened to be when I wanted to run away to Arizona with my friends for the emergency medicine conference. Oh, date clashes, why you gotta be like that?!
But it also means we’re snowed in. I wasn’t about to chance sliding into the river in an attempt to get home, so I set up camp on Sean/Isaac’s futon.
F: (gets up to microwave some food) Ahhhhhh!!!!
S: What’s going on? Are you okay?
F: I’m fine, I’m fine! The world just looks like it’s spinning off its axis and I can’t see anything right now. Probably just some orthostatic hypotension. Give me a minute!
S: Here, follow my finger with your eyes! Smile! Look like you’re angry at Isaac! Puff out your cheeks! Shrug your shoulders. Stick out your tongue! Say “Ah!”
F: (does all of the above)
S: Alright, my official diagnosis is orthostatic hypotension.
F: But that’s what I said before you ran through all the cranial nerves with me.
S: And you’ve had too much coffee.
F: But I haven’t had any coffee.
S: Too little coffee!
Say hello to your future doctors! (Hopefully.)
I cut in front of a friend to get food over the weekend since we were part of the backstage crew helping with an event that I will talk about once pictures come in. (In my defense, I asked first and he said he didn’t mind.)
A: I still haven’t forgiven you, Farrah. I’m not sure I ever will.
F: I am forever sorry! How can I make it up to you?
A: I don’t think you can. You don’t understand what food means to me.
F: I don’t think you understand how much food means to me. :O
A: I think I do.
F: I think the whole school does.
A: You’re the one who only eats the salads at the school.
F: Wait, what?
A: I may have gotten that wrong.
F: Just by a bit! If by salads, you mean everything, you’d be right. Except maybe the pizza. I’ve started boycotting that unless it’s really good pizza.
A: You should get one of those Garlic Sicilian pizzas from Bellacino’s. They’re amazing. They only come in large though so you might want to get a friend to help you eat it. Probably two if you want to eat it in one sitting.
F: That sounds kinda amazing, but I already have food for the day with me. :O
A: I’m going to keep sending you links and pictures of it until you try it. Or one day, it’ll just show up on your doorstep.
F: :O! Now we’re talkin’! It’d take a special sort of person to see it and go, “No, I’m not going to eat this delicious and free pizza.”
A: It’s all part of my plan to get you to be as large as possible. Then maybe I can finally squat more than you.* :'(
F: You probably already can. But deadlift! I’d challenge you to deadlifts!
A: No! I don’t want to go against you!
F: But the winner could have the pizza!?
A: That would be you!
*A previous conversation took place in the gym where he said it made him jealous how much better my form was than his.
(door creeps open slowly)
F: Hello! What’s up?
M: (whispers) Farrah, do you have any food?
F: A can of soup!
M: That’s too big. I’d feel bad. I don’t want to take it all away from you.
F: Half a can of soup?
M: Anything smaller?
F: I have granola in my car!
M: I don’t want to distract you any more than I already have though. :[
F: It’s cool, I needed to go print things anyway. Do you want some granola?
M: (nods sadly)
M: Thanks. :[ Do you want me to get it for you?
F: It’s fine! I can get it.
M: I’m sorry for distracting you. But I’m so hungry. And so weak. :[
F: There there. …Wait, before I go, can we arm wrestle? :]
M: Well, not that weak.
M: No, Farrah, it wouldn’t be fair. I weigh like 60 pounds more than you, and not all of it’s fat. There’s organs and bones and then there’s muscle.
F: Lots of muscle. :[
M: Maybe if I weighed 124 pounds, but then I wouldn’t agree because you might win and I’d have to slash your tires or something.
M: It’s a pride thing! But don’t worry, it’s never going to come to that!
F: I’m lacing your granola with arsenic! :'(